Feelings vs Emotions
- Angelica Crespo
- May 9
- 5 min read
Introduction and Importance
Sometimes, we need to simplify what we have already been taught, and sometimes we need to throw our socialization in the trash. Sometimes it's both, and sometimes it's both/and. What’s beautiful about our emotions is the individual experience of feeling them. Yet we are not alone in our feelings and interpretations of the world. There may be uncanny similarities in our experiences that fuel our closeness, acting like a mirror to our inner worlds. Understanding our emotions goes beyond logical comprehension; it also involves fully experiencing them in our bodies and recognizing why we need to feel what we feel to see the bigger picture of our lives. Navigating the emotions and feelings world within each of us is a gift. It is something that only we can do for ourselves: grant ourselves permission to look in that mirror and face it.
“There is a distinct difference between what an emotion and what a feeling is. And while these terms are often used interchangeably, there are good reasons to know the difference. A child who understands their immediate reaction to something may be better able to label their feelings in different and more helpful ways. This can be especially useful in the case of hearing loud noises (for example, fire alarms or sirens) that lead to anxiety. Depending on their personality, background, and any trauma, this can help them to have more awareness in the moment and respond more effectively.” https://thinkpsych.com/blogs/posts/what-is-the-difference-between-feelings-and-emotions?srsltid=AfmBOoqQwtE7ugTRRTIBBwK3ZOg-9FTtakP5F0PIUoWAy4bcBNd4LRFw
What are Feelings? What are Emotions?
Emotions are the initial reaction to your interpretation of your physical environment; feelings last longer and are influenced by your perceptions. This difference is important for getting to the nitty gritty of understanding our feelings so we can understand our needs.
Our Mental Wellness as a Priority:
Processing feelings can be unforgiving. Like riding a bike or swimming, the more you lean in, the more you’re able to just keep swimming. This lifelong journey has no destination, but many rewards, such as compassion or the ability to be present within our body. Being present in our bodies is not a luxury that many communities of color experience. Emotions/ feelings call for us to slow down amidst the hustle and bustle of the world. Allowing stillness to find what our body’s needs are is important for our overall well-being. What we are repressing shows up in inconvenient ways at inconvenient times, because sometimes we are in dire need of ourselves.
Self-Regulation and The Feelings Wheel
A great tool for self-regulation is the Feelings Wheel because it allows us to identify our feelings and understand the root causes of these feelings. With an awareness of our feelings, we can begin to move towards healthy relationships within ourselves and others. The Feelings Wheel is for folks who are ready to put words to feelings about the initial emotions of an experience. Different folks need different coping mechanisms to be present, such as creating art, fidgeting with something in their hands, breathing, sitting with sensations in their body, and much more. Individual needs are just that, and our feelings allow us access into understanding what our needs are, why we have them, and how to get our needs met. Feelings can be hard to access, especially for folks who have childhood trauma, Complex-PTSD, or PTSD.
After you have sat with the sensations in your body, the next step is to identify the feeling that you feel. For example, taking a look at the photo of the feelings wheel above, if ‘anger’ is what you are feeling, you can see if any other feelings resonate within the umbrella of ‘anger’, such as ‘Rage.’ Once you put words to the feeling, you can begin to identify where in your body you feel it, why you feel it, and how to honor this feeling. Being gentle with yourself is important. Maybe you drink some tea like Be Still Tea with nerve soothing herbs like Vervain, or do something that is relaxing to you.
If you have capacity, you might be able to dive deeper into where and when you have felt this feeling in the past. Is it a pattern? Is this from a particular isolated moment? Does this feeling remind you of another time you felt this way? For example, you may feel like you're confused about your feelings, and you might resonate with more than one feeling. We must remember that everyone's journey is not the same.
Tracking your emotions in a journal might be a great place to begin to organize your thoughts. Some folks use audio, others might use videos, as long as you're able to do what feels good for you. The beautiful part of gaining a deeper understanding of yourself is that you are unique, and no one has a better understanding of who you are than you do.
Grief and Giving Thanks:
Grief is a medicine, wearing many faces along each of our personal journeys. Collective grief and generational trauma connect the global majority, the land, and beyond. I recently came across a Twitter video by Pamela Smith (@blackhomeeducators), an entrepreneur who is homesteading and homeschooling, where she beautifully stated, “Through religion, they have taught our people to prepare for the afterlife, all while they enjoy heaven on Earth.” Systemic and interpersonal hegemony threatens the well-being and survival of communities of color. The deliberate control of open land through environmental injustice and infrastructural racism across the Diaspora has created a deep disconnection within individuals and communities.
I find it fitting that I end this Feelings vs Emotions sentiment with a note from my father. He wrote down the five stages of grief in his notebook: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. I’d like to include the 7 stages of grief: shock, denial, anger, bargaining, guilt, depression, and acceptance. Sometimes we are grieving a parent, a friend, a child, or our inner child, or all of these at once. Giving space for grieving opens up so many doors to ourselves and our joy. As another year passes and we enter this astrological new year, may we meet ourselves—wherever we are in the grieving process—with gentleness and kindness, allowing space for inner atonement and healing.
If you made it to the end, thank you for reading! Please share your experiences, affirmations, stories, and experiences with the feelings wheel, and/or comments below. I’m grateful for community, and I hope this helps clarify your approach to yourself and others. I find it important to acknowledge that my educational background—being just a few credits away from completing a Master’s in Social Work—deeply informs my approach as a doula and herbalist. My grounding in trauma-informed care and ecological systems theory allows me to show up with intention, compassion, and an understanding of how our personal and collective environments shape our well-being. My personal experiences and educational background do help me to have a well-rounded view of mental wellness. Whether I’m supporting someone through birth or offering herbal remedies, my work is rooted in honoring the whole person and their unique journey.
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